


Red (working title)

by icannotevenfandom



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Depression, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicide, comfort being what the team gives to each other, description of suicide, not too graphic but there, the aftermath, why did i write this? because apparently i am a masochist, will come later i think, you really think i know what is up either?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-28 01:42:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12595236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icannotevenfandom/pseuds/icannotevenfandom
Summary: Yamaguchi was floating. In his bathtub. The water was red.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING! Please read the tags! 
> 
> I have a rough 'plot' for this fic but i have written 3 chapters and i am not even halfway to the main plot, so yeah, this gonna be long guys! I want to basically concentrate on the recovery part more but to reach recovery we need all the angst!

It was a Saturday. The team was visiting Yamaguchi after the morning practice because he hadn’t been to school for two days. He was also not replying to their messages. So they thought he might be sick. Since Yamaguchi’s parents normally went on long business trips, Tsukishima had the spare keys to his house for emergencies. Emergencies like no one opening the door. 

They went inside but no one answered their calls of ‘Yamaguchi’. They thought he must have gone out. Daichi, just wanting to make sure his kouhai was not in his room, sleeping, sneaked to his room while everyone else was making plans to go to the ice cream shop down the street. The room was well organized. The bed was made. There were a few pages on the table neatly kept. The bathroom door was closed. Maybe it was a gut feeling, maybe it was some superfast rational thought but Daichi felt the urge to check the bathroom. And so he entered.

Yamaguchi was floating. In the bathtub. The water was red.

And all Daichi could do was stare.

Daichi could not move. He could not remove his eyes from the body. The metallic smell of blood was overwhelming. But Daichi’s feet were stuck on the ground. 

He would never forget that image or that smell in his life.

Daichi somehow got himself to move and ran out. He could barely control his breathing but he needed to get everyone out of the house. They couldn’t see this. They must never see this. Especially Tsukishima. 

He called out to Suga from the hallway. Suga came and immediately looked concerned. He tried to make Diachi sit down and calm down, ask what is wrong. However, Daichi’s choked ‘Get everyone out of the house’ must have sounded really desperate and hoarse because Suga, even with a lot of questions and worry on his face, didn’t ask any questions. He got up and started leaving when Daichi’s soft ‘Except Tsukishima’ reached his ears and he turned around with panic clearly written in his wide eyes. 

He somehow still managed to compose himself and get everybody out giving some excuse to why he, Daichi and Tsukishima are staying back. He didn’t notice Asahi giving him a suspicious look before distracting everyone from asking questions and ushering them out. 

Once the door closed, Daichi came out looking wrecked. He was still breathing heavily and his eyes looked a little wild. He had a phone in his hand that he shakily kept on the table. Tsukishima, who was looking suspiciously at Suga since he asked everyone to leave now looked even more confused and worried.

‘What is happening Daichi-san’, he asked

Daichi took a deep breath. How do you tell someone that their best friend since childhood was floating in a bathtub full of water mixed with their blood just in the next room? 

‘Tsukishima, I need you to sit down. Suga you too.’

‘What is happening?’Tsukishima asked again but with a more panicked voice. He almost started going towards the room when thankfully Suga pulled him back and made him sit down next to him. 

Tsukishima’s eyes are wide and Daichi is still trying to breathe normally. Suga finally breaks the silence.

‘Daichi?’ he asks in a concerned voice.

Daichi finally seems to have gathered some courage but looks like he is on the verge of crying.

‘There is an ambulance on it’s way’

Tsukishima visibly gasps and tries to get up but Suga pulls him down again.

‘Why is there an ambulance on it’s way?!’ Tsukishima asks in a raised, clearly panicked voice. No, this is not happening. No, he was just overthinking Daichi’s cryptic language.

‘ Tsukishima, Yam-‘ and the bell rings.

Daichi quickly goes and opens the door to find the Paramedics. He quickly points them to the room and informs them to go to the bathroom.

Tsukishima is already on his feet, trying to go to the room himself while Suga is trying to hold him back. Daichi quickly comes to help Suga. 

‘NO, WHAT IS HAPPENING??’

‘Tsukishima please cal-‘

‘NO FUCK, NO LET ME SEE, WHAT HAPPENED?’

Tsukishima was slowly becoming hysterical. 

‘NO, let me see! Why are you stopping me? He is alright, right? Why are you stopping me? Let me go, please!’ , and he falls down on his knees, gasping a little. Both Suga and Daichi get down on their knees as well and hold him in their arms. Daichi looked like he was trying to go in his ‘Reliable Senpai’ mode but he just couldn’t. He was a reliable senpai but dammit he was 18 too. And this, this was too much to handle. Tears started freely flowing from his eyes as he tried his hardest to comfort Tsukishima. 

But Suga, Suga had not reacted at all. He was shocked, and worried and didn’t know what was happening and didn’t want to know. He was just numbly staring at Tsukishima who was gasping for air, was hyperventilating, eyes wild while still trying to get free from their clutches and Daichi who it seemed was trying very hard to not cry but his eyes had a different opinion. Suga still clutched tightly at Tsukishima’s shoulder, and still hugged both of them as he changed his position when Tsukishima went limp. This was just surreal, like a dream. This was a dream. He was going to wake up anytime now and realise he was late for his morning practice. Any time now.

After what seemed like hours or maybe they were minutes, one of the paramedics came out. He looked at the trio of young boys hugging each other and and hesitated. Suga however spotted him and got up first. 

‘Is there an adult in the house or nearby?’

Suga shook his head to say no.

‘Okay, I need you to be calm okay.’

Suga nodded. He was still so numb. He felt he wouldn’t ever feel any emotion but calm.

‘I am sorry but your friend died before we came in. We have already informed the police who are on their way. Don’t worry, they just need to check the scene okay. Once they are done, we will shift him to the mortuary. Can you call anyone else right now? His family, your family, anyone?’

Suga, Suga couldn’t react. He couldn’t talk. He was frozen. His eyes had gone wide. He was still feeling numb but it was slowly getting thawed by the rising panic. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He tried again but nothing. And then suddenly he was gasping for air. He could feel the panic, the lack of air but he felt like his mind had split and his 2nd part was calmly sitting in the corner of his brain watching himself going through this.

The paramedic immediately made him sit down and tried to calm him. Daichi wanted to help but he was sitting with Tsukishima. He didn’t hear what the paramedic said, but he had an idea that he then immediately shoved down. Because no. 

Tsukishima was now staring at the ground. He looked zoned out but he had tears flowing down his face. He didn’t seem to be aware about anything. He wasn’t aware of Suga’s panic or Daichi’s hand rubbing his back. He just looked numb.

Another paramedic came from the room and took the scene in. She then kneeled down next to Daichi and asked, ‘Is there anyone we can call who could come in right now? Any adult, your friend’s family?’

Daichi remembered that Yamaguchi’s parents were on a business trip and oh god they would have to call them and tell them about this. 

All he could think of was one person at that time. So he nodded a yes and got up while the paramedic sat besides Tsukishima. He picked up his phone from the table and called Ukai


	2. Chapter 2

Ukai was in the shop when the gaggle of what he calls his team entered his shop. And then as usual his calm and peaceful shop turned into a chaotic ruckus.

‘Where is Sawamura and Sugawara? And Tsukishima?’ he asked Ennoshita.

‘We went to Yamaguchi’s house before but he wasn’t there. So we all left but Daichi-san, Suga-san and Tsukishima stayed back because they wanted Tsukishima to drop off Yamaguchi’s homework, since he hasn't come to school for 2 days and said they will give him company while coming back.’

Ukai noticed Ennoshita had an odd expression of doubt when he said this but shrugged it off.

‘We were going to go to that ice cream shop down his road but then Hinata and Kageyama started fighting over their favourite flavours that resulted into a race and us chasing them and by the time they stopped we were already here, so we decided to just come to your shop instead’ Narita chuckled.

‘You rascals! I give you so many free snacks and you make it sound like my shop is some shack you are forced to come because everything is closed!’ Ukai yelled while all he got as a response were more laughs thrown at him. These morons.

Ukai’s mobile then rings and he sees that it was Sawamura calling him. Thinking Sawamura just wanted to confirm if his idiot of a team was at his shop he picked up the call.

‘Ukai-san’

Something was wrong. Sawamura sounded hoarse like he was crying. But Sawamura did not cry. Did he have a sore throat today?

‘Sawamura, are you alright?’

“Ukai san can you please come to the address I forward you? It is Yamaguchi’s”

Okay, now something was definitely wrong. He remembered Ennoshita’s doubt when he was telling him why his 3 teammates were not here.

‘Sawamura, what is happening? ‘

‘Coach, I…-‘

Suddenly he heard a female voice behind Daichi which sounded like asking him if it was okay for her to talk. There was some shuffling and that voice took over.

‘Hello Ukai san. My name is Makahira Mai. I am a paramedic. I am sorry to inform you over the phone but your student, Yamaguchi has passed away. Is it possible for you or any other adult to come to his place? Only your 3 other students are there and there would be police coming over right now and I don’t think they are in the state to deal with it nor do I think I want them to.’

Ukai sat down. This, this wasn’t what he was expecting. Not in a million years. He could barely tell her he was on his way. He calles up Shimida and Takinoue and tells them he was coming to pick them up from Shimida’s shop immediately and then calls Takeda sensei to meet him there as well. He tells them that it is an emergency and maybe his voice does sound panicky because they all agree without any question. But he couldn’t panic right now. Not when his 3 students were alone in that house with paramedics and police and their friend’s body. No. He had to reach there as soon as possible.

He kicks the entire team out of his shop next. Just tells them he has to immediately go somewhere and needed them to leave. They all watch in confusion as he locks his shop and runs to his car. He could even see a few worried looks cast at him but no. He couldn’t tell them right now. Let them have a few more hours of bliss while everything gets sorted. And so he drives. He breaks the speed limit and drives. When he reaches the mart all three of them are already there casting worried glances at each other. He tells them to get in the car and then he drives again. Finally Takinoue breaks the silence.

‘Keishin, what is going on?’

Ukai takes a deep breath. He needs to concentrate on his driving and so he needs to tell them fast and to the point.

‘We are going to Yamaguchi’s house. Sawamura, Sugawara and Tsukishima are there alone.’

‘And that is an emergency because…’

‘Yamaguchi died.’

There was silence. There was stunned silence. No one spoke for a minute. Ukai was concentrating on his driving.

‘What do you mean Yamaguchi died?’ he heard a watery voice of Takeda Sensei.

‘He died. The paramedics called to ask for some adults to come there. We are going. He is dead’

No one spoke again. Ukai concentrated on his driving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason Ukai doesn't ask where yama is when the team comes to his shop was because Yama hadn't come for practice 2 days as well as that day's morning practice and the plan to go to his house was made in front of him.
> 
> I want to comment on Ukai's reactions but I think it will be better to do so in the end notr of the 3rd chapter, so please read that if you are interested!
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments if you like the fic! Also you can come scream at me on [my tumblr](http://gayanime.tumblr.com/)!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES! It is I with a 2nd update today! 
> 
> Because I feel like chapters 2 and 3 kinda go together but I didn't want them to be one entire chapter so they are split! 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy the angst *muahahaha*

Daichi, Suga and Tsukihima had calmed down. Or rather they were not crying or panicking anymore.

They saw Ukai-san come in hurriedy through the door and Takeda-sensei, Shimida-san and Takinoue-san following behind him. Ukai-san went to talk directly with the paramedics and the 2 police officers who had come in while Takinoue-san stood besides him. Takeda-sensei and Shimida-san followed. Daichi saw their eyes widen and saw Takinoue-san's hand on Shimida-san's shoulder.  He saw Takeda sensei's clenched fists. But then he saw Takeda sensei unclench his hands and slowly make his way towards them. Shimida-san followed. Their eyes looked puffy but they just sat at each end of the trio.

Takeda sensei put a firm but gentle hand on Daichi’s shoulder and minute by minute Daichi felt relief making it's way to his heart. Relief of not being the one to handle this. Relief of a familiar adult being there. Relief of the adult being there for _him_. Relief of being taken care of. And his eyes teared up again. Sensei just put an arm around him and hugged him and he couldn’t control it. He had tried to push back that image throughout this time but now it came to him again. The red water, the floating body, the slit wrists, the sharp metallic smell and he sobbed. And he sobbed more.

Seeing him Suga too started sobbing softly with Shimida san holding his hand.

Tsukishima was still zoned out. He was still not aware.

And then Akiteru came in.

After Daichi had called Ukai he gave Makahira-san Akiteru’s number because he felt Tsukishima might be better off with having his brother besides him. She might have called him and informed him about the situation because Daichi didn’t have the energy to pay attention.

Akiteru looked harried when he entered. Figures, he knew Yamaguchi as long as Tsukishima knew him too.

He spotted Tsukishima and immediately came and hugged him. Tsukishima didn’t react. But he continued hugging him, whispering ‘I am sorry’s’ and ‘oh my god Kei’ to him.  Tsukishima still didn’t react.

Once they had talked with the police, Ukai and Takinoue made their way towards the others.

‘I am sorry but I need to ask this, do you know where Yamaguchi’s parents are and how to contact them?’

Daichi felt his stomach drop.

He wanted to answer but he couldn’t stop crying. But then he heard Suga’s voice.

‘They have gone on a business trip. I don’t know where but they are not here.’

‘I will give you their contact number.’ Akiteru’s voice added.

With the numbers, Ukai went about making arrangement for the body storage and to go call Yamaguchi’s parents. He didn’t see the worried look on Takinoue’s face.

After Daichi had calmed down again he looked at Takeda-Sensei.

‘We need to tell the team.’

Daichi saw Sensei’s strong mask waver.

Takeda-sensei composed himself again and just said ‘yes’. He then got up and went to talk with Ukai-san who agreed with whatever Sensei said.

Takinoue-san sat besides Daichi while Daichi saw Takeda sensei leave. The police came and handed some papers to Ukai-san who took them and left. He came back again after a few minutes without the papers. Daichi closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are various ways people grieve. While writing this, Ukai turned out to be someone who tries to distract himeself with work and logistics to keep himself from feeling the emotions. It could be how he handles grief or it could be because he feels that his team needs an adult who can handle all of this and he needs to be strong for them and that is why should put his emotions on hold so that he can take care of them first.
> 
> At the end the disjointed feeling of writing is a reflection of how Daichi is feeling. He is tired. He is completely drained out of his emotional and mental energy and yet he still knows at the back of his mind that he will need to be there for his younger teammates. And he doesn't want that responsibility. Not because he doesn't care for them but he is overwhelmed to the point of being numb and now he just wants this to end.
> 
> Scream at me on [tumblr](http://gayanime.tumblr.com/) and leave kudos and comments if you like the fic!

**Author's Note:**

> What are tenses? Who knows! I am not completely satisfied with my language in this chapter so I may edit it later if I can write it better though the plot and everything will remain the same. 
> 
> I have zero knowledge of biology and anatomy so this is not accurate. I tried to research what specifically happens in a bath tub but couldn't get much... If you have any corrections please tell me! In this chapter, Yama has not been dead for too long and that is why his body has not started decomposing (i hope this is how it works and if doesn't tell me!). 
> 
> Also, yeah I know I have literally left my other two fics, ahem, what were we talking about.... But on a serious note, I want to complete them, sometime. I will def write the Bokuaka epilogue sooner now that i have started writing again but the chat fic might take some time. 
> 
> Anyways, please leave kudos if you like the fic! I love comments, so talk to me!! And if you are on tumblr, yell at me [here](http://gayanime.tumblr.com/)


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